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Post by savara120 on Apr 13, 2019 19:35:40 GMT -5
I need advice on how to get my two cats to live together peacefully. They have been living together for 10 years and other than a few dust ups in the very beginning things had been good. Midway has always played so roughly it could be considered play aggressive, and he has always had a high prey drive, so if it runs it is to be chased. However when Montressor had enough, he'd stop and turn and make an angry sound and Midway would stop pestering him immediately. During the times Midway wasn't on the move they showed bonded behavior through mutual grooming.
During the past 2-3 years things have gradually changed. Midway is getting more aggressive in his play, not letting up on Montressor even when Montressor starts growling and hissing. Montressor no longer stands his ground, he runs until cornered. Recently Montressor has started flinching when he sees Midway unexpectedly and the rare times I see any grooming it's two licks and then one cat walks away. Plus Midway is now picking on Montressor if he is wanting something from us (like a walk on a leash).
I've tried territory swapping, I've tried extra attention, I've tried trying to get Montressor to feel more confident, I've tried cat furniture to get extra height. I'm at my wits' end. I'm about ready to get Midway his own cat for a playmate so that he will feel less need to focus solely on Montressor. (Irony, Midway is Montressor's cat so that Montressor could have a playmate back when he was young.)
Montressor and Midway are both neutered males, Midway is 13 (though he bounces off the walls like a younger cat) and Montressor is 20.
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Post by Angel Macy on Apr 14, 2019 14:36:57 GMT -5
I think what you might be seeing is that as Montressor ages more Midway is making his claim so to speak ad the dominent or Alpha cat in the house. Let me send en email out to members to see if they can help.
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Post by Felica, (Fee) In Loving Memory on Apr 14, 2019 17:23:43 GMT -5
Two things off the top of my head. Have to taken Midway to the vet to see if he is not ailing in some way? Has anything changed in his life like a new member of the family ( human or pet), a move, etc
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Post by Timmy Tomcat on Apr 14, 2019 19:04:19 GMT -5
Montressor needs to be able to relax in his old age. We agree that it may be that Midway wants to be alpha and is now flexing his position. We have a 19 year old who used to be the alpha and in the past year the fellow he used to go after is now giving the odd poke to Buddy. Nothing like this though. We agree on a vet visit. Sometimes medication helps but only for a short time and only if no other resort. We send purrs and prayers that things work out. Timmy and Family
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Post by Sterling on Apr 15, 2019 12:07:22 GMT -5
Agree with everyone that Midway has taken over as #1 cat. There is a need for every cat in the house to know its place on the dominance ladder but mine also know that the Top Cat is me. Bullying is not allowed in our house. If I see aggressiveness starting, I raise my voice, "Hey, Hey, HEY!! STOP IT !!" Sometimes it works, but otherwise I put myself between the two. If the aggressor was chasing a cat, I chase the aggressor through the house. Hey, it's not very dignified on my part, but the cat gets the idea what it's like for the tables to be turned and be chased.
I don't think getting another cat would necessarily eliminate Midway's aggression towards Montressor. In fact, a new cat might join Midway to be on "the winning team". In my case, I have 3 (neutered) males and one (spayed) female. Shannara doesn't like to be chased so if one of the boys wants to chase her, she stops, hisses and gives a warning swipe. If the other two boys hear, they come to back up their male companion. Then I arrive and break up the situation by putting myself between the boys and Shannara and raise my voice in a firm manner, "Leave her alone!" And sometimes Shannara is the aggressor, swiping and hissing at one of the boys when he's minding his own business. And I will correct her.
This is all when I'm home with them. In your situation, I wouldn't leave them together when you're not there. Hopefully, each one could have part of the house to roam but if you have to put one in only one room (like the bathroom with a litterbox), the one confined should be Midway with Montressor having free run through the rest of the house. Montressor will know why, and you can tell him so each time you confine him. Seniority should have its privileges. Montressor doesn't have to be #1, but he does need Midway to give him respect.
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Post by savara120 on Apr 15, 2019 17:00:53 GMT -5
I'll make a vet appointment for the both of them. Montressor has never been top cat, he has always accepted being on the bottom of the cat ladder. I've tried yelling and jumping up to physically intervene and even throwing a Temptation at Midway's flank to distract him, but once he's focused on Montressor nothing stops him. Jump between and he'll veer away only to angle back. Try to interrupt that pre-pounce stance, he simply takes off early and corrects mid-run. Get him away, 10 seconds later he's back and in a hiding spot...and back...and back. One time I saw him go under the desk, didn't think anything of it, but about 10 minutes later when Montressor walked by that desk, boom! He waited that long, and me walking back and forth didn't trigger it.
As far as changes, it's complicated. 2012-2015 we had a really unstable household, we moved a LOT, we had roommates from time to time, we sometimes had to split the family between two households. We kept the boys together because they were bonded, but our third cat sometimes was separate from them. 2016 we arrived here and have stayed in this residence. It's two story and I didn't realize at first that the boys were splitting the territory as upstairs and downstairs; when Midway started chasing Montressor upstairs from time to time but they'd sleep together upstairs we realized the territory line but it was already set. Our third cat Shadow died two years ago, I brought the body home from the vet so the boys would not think her lost and then look for her for months. Surprising Montressor bounced back pretty quick (he clearly worshiped the ground she walked on) and equally surprising Midway fell into a pretty bad depression for a couple months (they each thought the other was top cat so they always approached each other cautiously). Midway did sometimes whack her with a paw, trying to entice play and she'd ignore him, but they did get into a bad fight in the middle of the night just a few weeks before her death when she was in her final illness.
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Post by Sterling on Apr 15, 2019 21:28:24 GMT -5
Looks like you covered everything we can think of. Hopefully, your vet will have some answers.
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Post by savara120 on Apr 16, 2019 16:12:47 GMT -5
The vet said 100% behavioral, direct quote. Basically what y'all said, Montressor is old enough that Midway is taking advantage of the situation to push him around more. He did say that it's possible Shadow's death may have triggered something, he compared it to a child who loses a sibling and the child has a personality change after from the pain of loss and his world being turned upside down.
They both look and act younger than they are according to the vet and the vet tech. I'm certain of dates, when tracking down old photos I had the date stamps on them that gave the year I got Montressor, and I got Midway when we were going through the extreme messiness of my daughter's 10th grade IEP.
Midway is a perfect picture of health, just a brat. Montressor has bad arthritis. The vet offered a steroid shot, but then said he didn't like giving steroid shots to 20 year old cats because of side effects, so I declined it. Shockingly, Montressor has a tumor I missed. When I freaked about cancer (Shadow had mammary cancer) he was certain it was benign, he felt it and squeezed it. I remember feeling a weird mole there back in 2015, and I did think I felt a mat there from time to time, so it's incredibly slow growing. His back being touched clearly caused pain, but having the tumor messed with didn't bother him in the slightest, so there's no pain from that.
The vet told me to get lots of Feliway and saturate the house. There's not much more that can be done.
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